Fruits…

List your top 5 favorite fruits.

My top 5:

Watermelon

Navel Oranges

Mandarins

Peaches

Pineapple

Not a fan of papaya, mango, honeydew, tomatoes or avocados.

If someone could guarantee all fruit was ripe (i.e.: sweet), that’d be great 😂

Grapefruit used to be a favorite,  but the medication I’m taking to keep the cancer away counteracts with grapefruit. It’s been over 6 years since I’ve eaten one.

Fruit should be cheaper and they need to stop engineering the taste out of them. Apples, specifically Red Delicious and Macintosh,  have no taste.

Fruit – the candy of the natural world!

Follow the Leader…

Are you a leader or a follower?

Back in the 80s, these guys, this particular album was always in my CD player. I loved the music back then and miss it very much…However, I’m thinking this is not the direction this question was going 🙂

When I had a job/career, I felt funny being the leader. I could lead while physically doing the job. But if I was the fill-in supervisor, I had such a hard time telling people what to do.

In life, during an emergency, I will automatically be a leader if no one steps up.

Sometimes you aren’t given a choice. Sometimes it’s be a leader or die.

Sometimes you’re not having a good day/ week/month and you just need someone to grab you by the hand and lead for a while.

I read the room and figure out where I’m needed…I’m not always one or the other.

Memories…

Sitting in the parking lot of Penn Medicine Cancer Center in Valley Forge because I’m too early. I’m always too early. You just never know what the traffic will be like AND I need to relax…breathe because the anxiety is bad today. I don’t have scanxiety, but I have an irrational fear of being late. I’m here for my 6 month MRI.

So, I sit here and the memories from 5 years ago flood my brain…the people…the smell…the noises. 5 years ago, I was in the worse shape ever. I remember thinking that I wasn’t going to make it…no drug was going to kill the cancer that was ravaging my body after immunotherapy egged it on.

I remember being driven here by my Mom. Her trying to love me back to the land of the living. Her telling me everything was going to be okay. Her saying she’d take care of me until the end. Me being grateful but so bummed she had to go through this. I had wicked anxiety because I’m not a fan of having people take care of me.

I remember pulling up to the door and my mom getting my walker out, or the best security guard ever helping get my wheelchair out or helping me get out of the car. Everytime I came here, he was there to help me out. He always greeted us with a smile. (He’s still a security guard here and still smiling.)

I remember the air feeling so clean in this building and the temperature being just right. I remember the smell of the little Cafe cooking breakfast. The fact that it doesn’t smell sterile is amazing.

I remember being helped to go to the bathroom. I remember all of the massive pain I had when I had to get on the table for scans and radiation. I remember crying, not just from pain, but from fear of dying. I remember the embarrassment of letting the nurses/techs know that I was going to vomit or pee myself.

I remember the empathy from the employees. I remember seeing the sadness,  fear, worry in other cancer survivors (and caregivers) eyes. I remember hearing people talking, but it all sounding like gibberish (I was too caught up in myself to listen).

I remember the music playing in the radiation room, as well as the blue sky and palm tree picture on the ceiling. I remember the patient art on the walls and being jealous that they were so talented.

I remember waiting in the radiation room and another lady was in there, saw me crying and came over and hugged me. I remember just blurting everything out and her saying she understood. I remember hearing her story and for the first time in 5 months, had hope. It was at this point, I knew I was going to advocate for others and be a force of support for all who are fighting lung cancer

Hold on to hope…

Dreams of Being a Girly-Girl…

I’m on the left side.

I don’t really do jeans much anymore because I got fat (and jeans are expensive). I wear sweatpants or leggings.

I wear mostly black or dark colored clothing because I usually spill things on myself.

I wear flat shoes, as I just can’t do high heels anymore.

I don’t carry purses because they’re just something else I have to remember when I go places.

I have short, unstyled hair because I do not know how to do hair and don’t really feel like spending a lot of time with it. Not to mention: my hair is thin, has no body or texture. I’d like perms to come back in style 🙂

I chew my nails and have pretty fat fingers, so I can’t get manicures. My toes are in good shape, so I probably could get a pedicure.

I used to wear makeup, the whole kit and kaboodle, when I was a teenager. As I got older, I’d only wear blush and mascara. Since my cancer diagnosis, I don’t wear any makeup.

I’m 52 years old and would have loved to have the girly-girl gene during my lifetime.

I hope one day, I’ll be given a makeover…even just to look like a girly-girl for just one day.

Cancer, Data Integrity, Oil Refinery Maintenance

What topics do you like to discuss?

Love talking about lung cancer…Awareness, ending the stigma, my story, helping others through it.

Data Integrity…how to do it, is it trustworthy,  my love of Data.

Oil Refinery Maintenance…17 years working at one, interesting things I saw, things I learned, assholes I worked with, the love I had for the job, the grief I felt when I was laid off and the Refinery torn down.

Keep Fkn Going…

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

I’ve said this every day since being diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.

Life hasn’t exactly decided to be easy since my body decided to keep going, so some days are definitely harder than others. This quote comes in handy.

Not a Funeral but a Yacht Party?

My friends and family:

I will not be having a funeral, but I’m not opposed to having “Celebration of Life” or even a “Yacht Party”. I want all Yacht Rock playing. Yes, I love this music as it reminds me of growing up in the backseat, with the windows down, in the summer, listening to 93.7 WSTW with Mom & Dad in the front seats.

And, Chris can’t stand this music…like at all…I know this will likely make him shake his head and roll his eyes, but it will always remind him of me 🙂 Maybe that’s selfish, but I think this would be fun. I know, I’ll be dead…but I’ll be watching over ya’ll. Lol!!